Grab your nuts, buy a shirt, and have some laughs.

Welcome to the Church of the Blessed Acorn—the world’s newest religion, where you can purchase Eternal Life for just $24.99.

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Eternal life for $24.99

Yes, that’s a hell of a claim, but consider some of the claims made by other religions

Jesus drove a t-Rex

The earth is only 6,000 years old

That the raptures is coming within our lifetime and only the chosen will be tractor-beamed up into heaven.

Our Guarantee

In comparison, our idea doesn’t seem so nutty. Here’s our money back guarantee: Eternal Life for just $24.99, and we’ll even throw in some free merch! If you die and don’t find yourself in The Place of the Holy Oaks (heaven or whatever your ideal afterlife may be), please contact us for a full refund.

Eternal life, plus some merch

Mugs

Shirts

Accessories

Meet TAO

Instead of getting your spiritual guidance from an old dude with a tall hat, come get yours from a furry friend from your own backyard we call TAO, The Anointed One.

Meet Tao